Do you want to know the whats and whys behind our most beloved sexual responses? Do you want to know how we get that lovely tingly sensation down south to turn into our very own sexual explosions? I thought so… here we go!

The primary nerve group responsible for your orgasms is the pudendal nerve. It originates in the spinal cord and carries much of the sensory information and physical feelings to the clitoris and surrounding genitalia. Crazy stuff here.

The same nerve, good ol’ pudendal nerve, is also responsible for the vaginal secretions during the excitement phase and tells the ‘private tissue’ to engorge with blood. Yes, this is a necessary step before climax.

The hypogastric, vagus and pelvic nerves also play a key part in the sexual puzzle. The physical sensation that results from the stimulation of the vagina, cervix and pelvic floor muscles is due to the response of these nerves. Interesting enough there is no direct correlation between the pudendal nerve and the uterus so the sensations and contractions of the uterus during orgasm come from a different neural pathway. This goes for the g-spot as well!

Isn’t it strange to think that all this is going on in your body while you are enjoying yourself so much. And when you think about it, a female orgasm is the sensations leading up to the contraction of muscles around the vagina and uterus which in itself is not sexy at all. Of course in my curious mind this makes me question how closely pleasure and pain truly must be, given childbirth also calls on the uterine muscles to contract.

Have you ever thought, “what happens to my heart during sex?” I watched a special on the discovery channel a few evenings ago and learned more than I ever wanted to know about my body and sex yet I still find it interesting as hell what our hearts can endure during ‘together time’!

Let’s get real, your heart definitely gets a workout during the horizontal hokie pokie. Not enough to cancel your gym membership, but enough to mention and take a further look at. Here is a peek at how your heart reacts during the 4 stages of your “hot and heavy”…

Arousal - Your heart rate and respiratory rate go up. Your blood pressure quickly follows suit and you get a flushed feeling from head to toe. Just imagine walking the mall briskly, but only way more enjoyable!

Plateau - All of the above changes are magnified. This would be the second heaviest workload right before orgasm. Yes, once again I have use one of those funny, uncomfortable and clinical words. Think of this phase as walking up a few flights of stairs. But once again, a heck of a lot more fun.

Orgasm - This would obviously be your greatest increase in blood pressure, heart rate and breathing. Maximum workload for the ol’ ticker. This lasts about 15-30 seconds. All that work for just 15 seconds! I’m not sure what to compare this to. I will just say it is a very happy place to be and leave it at that!

Resolution - Your heart rate, blood pressure and breathing very quickly returns to normal. This is the heaviest workload after you orgasm. Let’s see, I will compare this to the end of a soccer game when you are sucking down your water and catching your breath. You are so sad to see the game end but so darn glad you played!

I am sad to report that this whole process on the average takes 10-20 minutes- if you’re lucky. Yes gentlemen that is all the longer you average.

The important thing to remember on a very serious note is if you have angina during the warm up, feel that your heart is “beating out of your chest” or have trouble regaining your breath after sex, you need to make an appointment with your cardiologist. Don’t be embarrassed, anxious or ashamed! Isn’t it better to discuss the problems rather than ignore them and have a heart attack in the throws of passion? I think that would be more embarrassing (but not uncommon)! We will save that statistic for another time.

Once I imagined that my man was dressed in a UPS uniform and had delivered a ‘package’ to my door. LOL, but seriously that is one of my recurring fantasies. I know what you are thinking, those brown uniforms are super duper hot, haha.

Fantasies are wonderful indeed. They allow you to step out of your comfort zone and real world and become, act or desire something you wouldn’t in your everyday life. Thank goodness for my very open, outgoing and sharing group of friends. Without them I would have probably written myself off as a freak for some of the stuff that pops into my head when I start thinking about sex.

Just how prevalent are sexual fantasies?

About five per cent of men and women say they have never had a sexual fantasy. Most adults say they first remember fantasizing between the ages of 11 and 13.

It is interesting to take note that the top 2 fantasies for both males and females are the same… having sex with an existing partner and receiving and giving oral sex Also interesting is that women list being watched by a voyeur as one of their top 10 fantasies and men say they would like to be the one doing the watching. How different our brains truly are. One thing that is constant though…

So who do you want to be tonight? Come on, mix it up a bit…

Alicia over at Mental Health Notes sent me a very interesting little article. It has to do with toys, batteries and some low lighting… yes, it is indeed about vibrators. But wait. It is about vibrators and diabetes. Who knew that the two could be linked?

It seems that in the southern US state of Alabama there is a ban on the sale of sex toys. That would include any device designed or marketed as used primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for anything of pleasuring of such. Oh, rules are so horrid sometimes!

But… it also seems that diabetes is one of the ways to get around this little ol’ rule. Such exciting news!

The law, though, does make exceptions for “a bona fide medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial, or law enforcement purpose… While sex toys are often used recreationally, they can also improve sexual function for people with certain medical conditions. Diabetes and multiple sclerosis, for instance, affect nerve transmission, which can dull sexual sensation.”

And there you have it, vibrators can help your neuropathies that are secondary to complications of diabetes. Seriously speaking, vibrators can help the ol’ nerve sensations and aid in restoring sexual feelings and gratification for those that are afflicted with decreased sensation. Could something that gives one such sense of self pleasure and increased sexual confidence really be all that bad? I think not!

Do you fake it? Yes I am talking to you… and men- you are not excluded in this question. Research shows that both men and women fake orgasms. Why, why, why?

The two most common reasons women give for faking orgasms are to make their male partners feel better and to end sex when they are tired. Women report feeling like their male partners are not satisfied until they “give” their female partner an orgasm, thus sex will continue until the woman either has an orgasm, or fakes orgasm.

I see it this way, if you are tired just let him know to ‘wrap it up’. And if he needs an ego boost that bad… grow up! And for the men out there that are shaking their heads in the up and down direction to my above proposed question, there are other ways to satisfy her. Believe me, we like to mix it every now and then.

What is the best way to tell if your partner is faking it? Ask them. That is the only fail proof way to know. Even brain scans can be tricked during this situation. Better communication yields a better relationship, more trust and ultimately a more satisfied partner. Now get to talkin’ and if you need some help here are some suggestions on how to start your conversation.

I just came across a very interesting topic… artificial vaginas. Yes I said fake va-jay-jays. And seriously speaking I see nothing wrong with them. If I can buy a vibrator and use it whenever I am in the mood, then why can’t a man have some fun alone time?

Here is what the Times Online had to say about why women are so appalled and upset over the topic…

I believe that it all stems from men evolving over thousands of years as hunters. Even modern men are still, rightly or wrongly, thought of as having something of the caveman about them; society still seems to expect them to have the potential to attract and bring back a trophy woman to their lair. It would be a feeble caveman who dragged back a plastic vagina to his fireside.

Point taken but I still say if my man feels the need to covet a fake vagina, so be it. I am not saying that I would be pleased if it was to take the place of my lovin’ but if it added some variety and spice to the bedroom and benefited our sexual relationship then heck yeah!

Do I think the fake vagina will take over your bedroom? No, as it can not clean the bathroom, wash the clothes and whisper sweet nothings in your man’s ear but I can understand the desire for such a toy. You know what I mean…

The Inuit Eskimo word for sex is “Laughing together in bed.”

I told you I was going somewhere with that laughing question. Seriously speaking almost all of my friends say that at one time or another they busted out in the biggest belly laugh of their lives right in the throws of passion. When you really think about, how funny do we look when we are actually engaged in the ol’ horizontal hookie pookie? Thank goodness there are no mirrors on our ceiling, haha. Add the noises, positions and places and it is some humorous stuff!

Did you know that when we laugh our breathing and heartbeat becomes one with each other? Think of it as synchronized love making. Now that’s hot!

…Serious laughing sex researchers experience multiple laughing orgasms with no recovery time. “We don’t really know how this happens, but we think it has something to do with the fact that he who laughs, lasts. Laughter, like orgasm, is another form of tension release. Laughing during sex can slow sexual tension moving too quickly to climax.”

I do not know first hand about the above mentioned but I do know that when my husband and I bust out in laughter while ‘doing the dirty’ it ends up being some hot sex! Give it a go and let me know what you find.

via Mass Media Distribution Newswire

To answer your question beforehand, yes I am going somewhere with this…

Did you know high blood sugars can directly effect your sex life? It is something I have never put more than 2 minutes of thought into. Because of being diabetic, my va va va voom can be, well let’s just say, not too voom. I was pleased to find more than ample research and articles on this otherwise taboo topic. Not so much taboo for my generation, but for the ones before me.

Let’s get the sexual problems out in the open and learn how to keep the “pep in our step”!! Wink,wink.

Long-term diabetes can cause damage to the nervous system, which is involved in the complete process of erection.

The most common sexual disorder linked to diabetes among men is erectile dysfunction (ED). Blood vessel’s are damaged by high blood sugars not allowing the blood flow to be optimal at the essential areas, catch my drift. Also, impotence can be a problem for some men due to nerve damage or neuropathies. Doctors are more than happy to offer solutions to these embarrassing, but very real complications associated with diabetes.

While sex seems to be everywhere –television, billboards and advertising–Americans are still reluctant to go to the doctor to talk about a sexual problem or issue. However, many people, whether they have diabetes or not, have sexual problems. The Journal of the American Medical Association reported in February of 1999 about a survey conducted of 1,749 women and 1,410 men aged 18 to 59. The survey found sexual dysfunction is more prevalent for women (43%) than men (31%).

That is a shocker! I was surprised to read the the survey results. Women are found to have more sexual dysfunction than men. There are many very easy and logical solutions to the most common sexual complaints among women. The chance of increased vaginitis in diabetic women can be combated with macrobiotics like yogurt or if more severe, over the counter medication. Vaginitis can lead to painful sex. So can a lack in lubrication. This can be an issue due to decreased nerve perception, which can be treated with medication.

There is also some suggestion that women with diabetes have problems with arousal, and just as the penis fails to become erect in the man, the clitoris in a woman may not respond to stimulation in the normal way.

Diabetics also have to be careful while they are basking in the afterglow of their “together” time.

If you use insulin, be aware that sometimes sex can cause low blood sugar levels. Test your blood sugar before having sex or consider eating just before or right afterwards as you would for exercise. Also you may want to have a snack before going to sleep at night.

Like I mentioned above, not many are excited or comfortable talking about their sexual problems with their doctors, but it is the only way to get help. Consider visiting the doctor with your partner or spouse if it would relieve some anxiety and angst. After all, it does take two to tango!

I have now seen it all. Well I guess not all but this was definitely something I never knew existed… Christian sex toys. Go figure. I guess we all need that sexual healing. Mr. Gaye was dead on with that!

It is just hard for me to picture a someone hands clasped, eyes closed, serious faced and praying for guidance on what sex toys their fellow Christian’s need. But this is just what you could find Joy Wilson doing at any given moment of the day.

Wilson says that after the birth of her first child, she had trouble rekindling her desire for intimacy. She and her husband went looking for marital aids, and found that Internet searches for products as tame as massage oil led to sites with pornographic images. “I was really surprised that it was that bad,” she says.

I will not lie, I have been inside of these nasty lil’ ol’ sex shops and searched the dirty websites that make Ms. Wilson cringe but I am fairly outgoing and adventurous when it comes to this topic! Joy and her husband were successful in adding some ‘hot sauce’ to their bedroom in creating Book22.com.

She says their site steers clear of certain types of sexual activity that they believe are unholy. And they carefully consider which new products to add.

What would I recommend? The Little Jelly Tickler. It just looks fun. What can beat a vibrating bullet of fun?

via NPR